My Place in Your Mind and Heart
by Disenchanted Romance
Summary: //Songfic/Breaking Benjamin: Diary of Jane// Sesshomaru did the unthinkable when he broke the lock and looked in Kikyo's diary. Confused and dazed, he begins to look at her a little different when he finally becomes true to himself and her.


New songfic! (yay!!). A different tone too from the last one I wrote. ;) Well, please R and R. No flames please on either the couple or band/song. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha!

Disclaimer: The characters, "Hester", "Pearl", "Dimmesdale" and "Chillingworth" don't belong to me! They are characters from Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel "The Scarlet Letter."

Disclaimer: The lyrics, "The Diary of Jane" don't belong to me! They belong to and are performed by Breaking Benjamin.

And now on with the songfic…

-()-

**My Place in Your Mind and Heart**

**By: The Celestial Inferno Rose**

It was a typical Wednesday morning, at the Alpha High School. Students attending the school wore blue suit but varied with the boys' and girl's preference of pants and skirts. The campus was littered with failing tests and incomplete homework assignments. It was filled with chatter from the social birds and students. The grass was cool and green on the warm lazy day, as one group in particular waited to act from the homeroom bell.

Sitting on the bench underneath the shade of an elm tree, finishing their last bit of homework were Kikyo, Kagura and Tsubaki. Sitting on the cool grass, catching up on their reading assignments were Sesshomaru, Naraku and Bankotsu. The group remained silent, in which the only sounds they made were the scribbling of their pens and the whip sound of the turning pages.

A few minutes after, the girls had finished up on their chemistry assignments but now they had to wait for their procrastinating pals to finish up. Tsubaki leaned against the tree as she said, "The reading was assigned on Friday. Why were you guys so dumb as to finish reading the chapters at the last minute?"

Naraku placed his book down as he countered back, "The book is boring that's why. Did you finish the assignment?"

"A long time ago," she replied back as she fixed the sash of her suit.

Bankotsu then put his book down as he said in a sly tone, "Then since you read the chapters, would you mind telling us what they were about?"

Kagura joined in the argument, answering with a sly grin, "Read the chapters and find out for yourself."

"Forget you two. What about you Kikyo? Would you mind helping us out," Bankotsu pleaded again.

Kikyo sighed, looking at Naraku and Bankotsu with pleading eyes as she decided whether to tell them or not. She then answered with slight irritation, "Fine then, what happened was..."

"It's alright Kikyo. I will tell these two what happened," Sesshomaru coolly interrupted as he closed his book and placed it in his backpack. Kikyo kept her eyes on Sesshomaru when he answered for her, "What happened was that 'Chillingworth' dies and 'Hester' and 'Pearl' run away with 'Dimmesdale'. That's what happened."

Naraku looked at Sesshomaru with slight suspicion as they all stood up commenting, "Is that all that happened? Then, the rest of the book as to do about them..."

"Yeah, I guess. We should all head inside before we're late," said Sesshomaru as he pulled Naraku and Bankotsu to the entrance.

As they joined the guys by the entrance, Tsubaki whispered to Kikyo and Kagura, "Did he do it on purpose? For all I know, that's not what really happened."

"He must be trying to teach them a lesson," Kikyo whispered back.

Kagura giggled as she whispered, "They will sure make fools of themselves in class today."

Entering through the double doors, they heard the homeroom bell and they headed their separate ways. Walking through the right wing from the entrance, Kikyo remained silent as she walked alongside Sesshomaru. She turned to him, slightly speaking in a whisper, "Uh...Sesshomaru?"

"Yeah," he asked as his cool eyes met her awkward eyes.

She continued, "Did...you make all of that stuff up on purpose?"

He snickered and turned his attention back at the hall, replying, "Yeah. It was the only way those two numskulls would learn," his attention went back to her when he asked with slight concern, "You're not going to tell them, are you?"

She giggled in her response, "No. I guess you're right for doing that."

They slightly laughed and entered in their homeroom. Separating and heading to their alphabetical seats, Kikyo took out a small pink book from her backpack and quickly began scribbling down in her slight secrecy.

After the last bell rang, the group walked out the double doors and was supposedly led by Naraku and Bankotsu, who walked ahead. The girls continued to giggle as they recalled the show they performed when their English teacher had questioned them on their assignment.

As the girls laughter began to grow, Sesshomaru then slyly said, "Are you two still upset? I said I was sorry."

Bankotsu turned and said in a malevolent tone, " 'Sorry' won't get rid of the 'F' we got on the assignment."

"Then why don't we all do something tonight. Maybe that will make you guys forget what happened in class," Kagura suggested as she placed her laughter to rest.

Kikyo then sighed and said, "Well, I won't be able to make it."

"Why," asked Sesshomaru as he walked beside Kikyo as her steps grew slower.

"I have to baby-sit Kaede...My mom's working late again and I promised I would take care of her," she replied as her eyes went to the ground.

Tsubaki then said in a cheerful tone, "Well, why don't you take her along with us...We'll all just go somewhere 'suitable' for her."

"The question is where," said Naraku as he finally placed his anger aside.

"I think the carnival is still open. Why don't we go there," suggested Kagura as her attention went to the two behind them.

The group rejoiced as they all agreed through their own overjoyed words. Tsubaki then asked Kikyo as they finally reached the exit of the campus, "What do you think? Do you think she'll want to go their?"

Kikyo replied with a slight grin, "I think she would. When do we meet up?"

"I'd say at five," said Bankotsu as he placed his arm on her shoulders and led Kikyo off to her way home. Slightly turning back, he said to the others, "We'll see you guys there. Don't be late!"

Sesshomaru turned to their direction, as they continued to walk and slowly disappeared. He then heard Tsubaki say, "The guy's really flirting with her. Do you think she likes him?"

Naraku then said as he flung his backpack over his shoulder, "I don't think so. Well, we'll see you guys later."

Naraku and Kagura left, heading to the left path on their way home. Tsubaki then left, walking to the right, the same direction Kikyo and Bankotsu walked. However, Sesshomaru remained in place, not knowing what to do. His attention remained on the right, until he had then realized the sun was quickly setting. He crossed the street and headed home.

In that near late afternoon, Kikyo, holding onto Kaede's hand, waited near the entrance of the park. She felt the young girl grow impatient as they continued watching people enter the carnival and find merriment as soon as they stepped in. Finally, Bankotsu arrived, along with the two siblings who arrived moments later. Tsubaki then came, leaving Sesshomaru to wait for.

Minutes later, he finally came, in which Bankotsu playfully cried to him, "I said don't be late. Where were you?"

He didn't answer his curiosity but merely said, "I was late, that's all."

"Then let's just get inside," Tsubaki said as she was beginning to sound slightly irritated.

After buying their tickets, they entered the already crowded park. Diverting in their own separate ways, it soon became hard to know where each person had went, when it was getting a tad late. Kikyo had kept a watch on Kaede, as she laughed on the rides she had gone on, not allowing herself to enjoy at least one of the many tickets she bought.

As Kaede continued to ride the merry-go-round, Kikyo watched from a distance, sitting on a secluding bench. Opening her small backpack, she took out the small pink notebook and began scribbling down. She jerked when she heard Sesshomaru sneak up on her, "What are you doing?"

Pulling herself together, she quickly closed the notebook and placed it in her backpack as she replied, "Nothing! Why are you here?"

He replied as he took a seat next to her, "I got bored. There really isn't anything to do now."

They sat in silence, watching the young girl find content in the childish ride. When the ride ended, Kikyo stood up as said, "It's getting late. I'm heading back home," she turned and asked in a gentle tone, "Would you mind telling the others I left?"

He answered looking up at her, "Not at all."

She entered the hoard of people as she went in search of her sister. Unknown to her, she had dropped her pink notebook near the bench. Yet, Sesshomaru took notice of the book and assumed it belonged to Kikyo. Attempting to return it to her, he then found she had left. Overwhelmed with curiosity of what it was, he was tempted to open it and read what she wrote. Yet, he would not forgive himself if he had done such a low act.

Walking back home, Sesshomaru took out the pink book he kept hidden in his pocket. He felt the need to read it, but he was succumbed with guilt it he even thought of reading but a mere page. Entering the house and ignoring his mother and father's greeting, he headed to his room as he continued to stare at the book.

It seemed that when he entered in his room, the curiosity could not be sustained. His hands were controlled by his curiosity when he broke the lock and opened the small book to the first page. On top of the lilac page, it was dated the first day of school. On the second line it read, "_Dear Diary_." It was clear to him now...this was her diary.

Sesshomaru tried to close the book but his fingers kept flipping to the latest entry. The page was titled, "_Afternoon_." He then began to read the entry:

_Dear Diary,_

_Today in English class, Bankotsu and Naraku got what they deserved today. After they were told the wrong information, they got an "F" on their assignment. They became upset, but they cheered up when Kagura suggested we should go to the carnival. I'm on my way right now._

_Early Evening_

_After waiting for ----------, Kagura, Tsubaki, Bankotsu Naraku, Kaede and me bought our tickets and entered the crowded park. I didn't have a chance to ride any rides, since Kaede hogged them all. At least she had fun..._

Sesshomaru looked up from the page and wondered why Kikyo had smeared him name where he thought he was mentioned. He turned to the previous page and read the entry:

_Dear Diary,_

_We had a lot of homework today, but Tsubaki, Kagura, ----------, Naraku, Bankotsu and me managed to finish some of it at Tsubaki's house. We're going to finish the rest, hopefully before the homeroom bell rings. Right now, I have to finish reading my English assignment._

The same thing happened. His name was smeared in the remainder of the entry. He flipped through the previous pages and he didn't find his name in none of the pages. He closed the book and he angrily threw it on the floor. He laid back and wondered why she did that. For all he knew, he never did anything wrong to her. He then wondered why does it concern him so much. It served him right for looking through her stuff, but something inside him couldn't stop him from looking through her diary.

/If I had to/I would put myself right beside you/So let me ask/Would you like that?/Would you like that?/And I don't mind/If you say this love is the last time/So now I'll ask/Do you like that?/Do you like that?/No!/

The following morning, Sesshomaru went inside the school. He continued thinking about the diary. He paused when he heard Bankotsu and Naraku calling him.

"Sesshomaru, what's wrong with you? You didn't hear us call you," Bankotsu said as he patted Sesshomaru's shoulder.

Naraku then humorously added, "Are you down because of what you did yesterday?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer. His eyes remained on the concrete ground and he continued walking. Naraku and Bankotsu followed him to his homeroom. There was hardly anyone in the room, which gave them the opportunity to personally converse.

Sesshomaru sighed and took his seat by the window. He covered his face with his arms on his desk while Naraku and Bankotsu confusedly stared at him. Naraku broke the silence and asked, "What's wrong with you today?"

Sesshomaru got up and walked to the windowsill, answering, "I don't know. I guess I'm just tired."

"Are you sure? Something tells me it's something else," Bankotsu slyly said as he headed to the windows as well.

Naraku humorously said again, "He's probably thinking about a girl he likes. Is that it?"

"How do you know when you like someone," Sesshomaru direly asked.

"So that's it! Well, honestly, you probably feel fuzzy inside...almost like, your entire world is her," Bankotsu replied with a dreamy tone.

Naraku gazed out the window and spotted Tsubaki, Kikyo and Kagura sitting underneath the tree. He turned to Bankotsu and asked, "Is that how you felt for Kikyo?"

"No, I only see her as a friend and nothing else. I said that out of experience when I had a crush on a senior during freshmen year. What about you," Bankotsu asked, turning the question back at Naraku.

Naraku answered in a humorous tone, "I didn't get the 'fuzzy' feeling you got but something inside me told me that I like someone."

"So you have crush on someone," Bankotsu exclaimed. He anxiously asked, "Who is it? Is it someone we know?"

"I ain't telling jack. What about you dude," Naraku asked Sesshomaru as he continued gazing out the window.

His mind was blank as he stared at Kikyo. He thought about her and how different she was from the other girls in their school. Out of all the other girls, she was the only one that kept her appearance modest by wearing leggings with the short uniform skirts. She was probably one of the few who truly had beauty and brains. Why is he even getting all mushy about her anyway!?

Naraku smacked Sesshomaru on the back of his head and asked again, "Dude, did you hear what I said? Do you have a thing for someone!?"

He walked back to his desk and finally answered, "I don't know. That's why I asked you two bimbos about how you feel when you like someone. But you two didn't help me at all."

"Then tell us who you think you have a thing for," Bankotsu insisted.

Sesshomaru hesitated, becoming slightly embarrassed about being all open with the two who might not even understand the concept of love themselves. Was he really in love with Kikyo or is it the aggravation he feels because she has never mentioned him in her diary? It's true, ignorance is bliss and he should have never tried to open her diary.

Something's getting in the way./Something's just about to break./I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane./So tell me how it should be.

He looked at his backpack containing the diary and then back at Naraku and Bankotsu. He then answered in a cool tone, "I'm not telling you two stooges anything."

Bankotsu exclaimed, "So why did you make us all poetic and stuff!"

"You didn't say jack," Sesshomaru snared back.

Naraku saw the expression on Sesshomaru's face and he said to Bankotsu, "We better leave the guy alone until he has cooled down."

They left the room just as the bell ranged. More people began to come to his homeroom as he took the diary out of his backpack and looked at the lock. He thought, "_Look what you made me do Kikyo. You made me get all mushy and fuzzy those two talked about. And it's all because I read your stupid diary. Why did you drop it anyway? Are you trying to see if I would read it? That's it! This is some joke you made to try to piss me off? But what did I do to her!?_"

With the belief that the encounter with the diary was a joke Kikyo made up, Sesshomaru was willing to confront her and demand why she had dropped her book. He then thought, "_But what if she isn't playing a joke on me? What if she really did drop her diary by accident? And I'm the idiot that went on and broke in her diary! What'll do then?_"

The warning bell rang as Sesshomaru continued to stare at the diary. He then heard some calling his name. I was Kikyo who was by the doorway. She came in and he quickly placed the diary back in his backpack. He noticed as she walked to his desk that her face seemed worried.

She took a seat next to him and said, "Hi."

His voice was broken from his nervousness when he replied, "...Hi. Something wrong?"

She replied, "Yeah, you know where we were sitting at in the carnival?"

"Yeah, what about it," he hesitated as he spoke.

"Did you see me drop something on the floor," she asked with hopeful eyes.

He looked at his backpack and then back at her. He replied innocently, "Sorry...I didn't see anything. What? Did you lose something?"

"Yeah...I lost my...," she paused, looking on the floor and then back at him, "I'll tell you later."

With that said, she left the room. The school day seemed long and every single student only wished the day had been Friday instead of Thursday. Finally, the long school day ended and everyone rushed out the doors to freedom.

Naraku and Bankotsu talked endlessly while Sesshomaru just walked slowly behind them. Their attention then went toe Kikyo, Tsubaki and Kagura who were by the gates of the school.

Bankotsu coolly said, "So, are you three waiting for us so we can start our homework together at your house Tsubaki?"

Tsubaki retorted, "Not this time. We just wanted to let you two know that we are going back to the park to help Kikyo look for something she lost last night."

Sesshomaru silently said, "Hope you find what you're looking for."

The girls then left and Bankotsu and Naraku continued their aimless conversation. As they continued walking to Sesshomaru's house, Naraku turned to him and asked, "Something bother you? You haven't said anything since we left."

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just thinking about stuff," he replied.

Bankotsu then asked, "What type of stuff?"

"Nothing that's meant for your ears," Sesshomaru snapped back.

Once getting to the house, they went to Sesshomaru's bedroom and tried to get some of their homework done. While Naraku and Bankotsu continued blabbering, Sesshomaru thought about his exclusion from Kikyo's diary. If she lost the book didn't lose it on purpose what was she trying to tell him by smearing his name, he thought. Maybe she is trying to tell him to notice her a little bit more, he continued thinking. But why wouldn't he? She is the only girl he ever thinks about, or at least since he found the diary, he thought. The only problem that still remains is what to do with the diary?

Try to find out what makes you tick/As I lie down/Sore and sick/Do you like that?/Do you like that?

After about two hours in accomplishing nothing, Bankotsu and Naraku got their things together and got ready to leave. Out of the blue, Sesshomaru said to Bankotsu, "Dude, I just want to say I'm sorry for snapping back at you like that."

Bankotsu replied with a smirk, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean too. Well, we'll see you tomorrow."

The two guys left, allowing Sesshomaru to fully understand what his true feelings were for Kikyo. He laid down on his bed and looked at the ceiling. All he could do was think about her. Everything about her brought some type of warm feeling to him. Does he like her or does he love her? He thought for a long time, seeing her face in the ceiling. He then came to the conclusion that all along, the jealousy he felt when Bankotsu or some other guy tried to get near her, the joy he felt when she spoke to him, the charm he felt when he saw her true beauty both inside and out, he felt those emotions because all along he was in love with her.

There's a fine line between love and hate/And I don't mind/Just let me say that/I like that/I like that

It was finally Friday as the sun rose over the horizon. Sesshomaru woke up from the loud annoying sound of his alarm clock. He put his alarm on snooze until he realized about a minute later that he was late for school. He quickly changed into his uniform and stormed out of the house. He ran nonstop to the school and made it just on time. The warning bell ranged as he made he way to his homeroom.

He got to his desk and panted as he laid his head on his desk with his arms folded. While he waited for the final bells to ring, he thought of Kikyo once again. Now that he knows that he truly is in love with her, he can't help but think of how to impress her. Perhaps if he impresses her, she will finally recognize him in her diary, if he finally remembers to return it back to her.

The day seemed to have gone quickly, probably because he couldn't stop thinking of Kikyo. Due to his lack of focus in class, he has gotten into more trouble that day. As everyone raced to finally get out of the restraining school walls, Naraku said to Bankotsu and Sesshomaru as they walked out of the school, "I'm throwing a party tomorrow and I want you guys to be there, got it?"

"What's the occasion," Bankotsu cheerfully asked.

"No occasion. I just thought we could use a breather from this long week. I invited everyone from school too," Naraku proudly replied.

Bankotsu then asked again, "Why couldn't it be just the six of us? We have more fun when it's just us. Besides, if anyone breaks anything, you'll get in trouble."

"My parents are out of town so if anyone breaks anything, I will replace it. Besides, they don't notice is there's anything missing or broken," Naraku replied back.

Bankotsu sighed and said, "Okay then. We'll see you there then."

They left the school premises and went into their own separate directions. Sesshomaru went back to his sanctuary and took out the diary. He has to give Kikyo back her diary and then finally admit to her that he is in love with her. Saturday has to be the day he finally tells her of his true feelings. He thought as he skimmed through the pages that perhaps after he confesses, she will finally place him in her thoughts.

Something's getting in the way./Something's just about to break./I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane./As I burn another page,/As I look the other way./I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

As the sun finally began to set, people began to arrive to Naraku's house. The music from inside the house was so loud that it could be heard from outside. Bankotsu arrived with Tsubaki and Kagura, but Sesshomaru and Kikyo have yet to arrive.

In his room, Sesshomaru finished changing into his black shirt and pants. He took the diary from his backpack and went to his phone on his nightstand. He dialed Kikyo's number and hoped she didn't leave yet.

The phone picked up, "_Hello?_"

"Kikyo?"

"_Yeah. Is that you Sesshomaru?_"

"Yeah, I was just wondering if we could go to the party together."

"_Sure, I'll see you then_."

"Bye."

He quickly hung up the phone and rushed out of the house, placing the diary in his pocket. He quickly walked to her house, nervous of what she will say or how she will react. He finally arrived in front of her door. He ranged the doorbell and waited. He heard the clicks of the locks snap and there appeared Kikyo.

She clearly bewitched him. She wore a black strapless dress and held her hair up in a messy bun. He was baffled as he tried to compliment her, "Kikyo...You look...amazing."

She blushed, "Thanks. Let's go then."

The walk to the party was silent, mainly because he was too distracted on how charming she was. They finally arrived to the party, noticing how loud the music was and how crowded the house was.

Once stepping through those doors, they were filled with the uplifting beat of the music. Ecstasy flowed through the room in which no one could resist but dance.

Sesshomaru asked though the loud music, "Do you want to dance?"

Kikyo smiled and replied, "Sure."

They went more in the center of the living room, where the other dancers were. But when they got their, the music changed into a slow ballad. It was a slow dance!

Awkwardly, they just stood there. They laughed and then proceeded to dance. She placed her arms around his neck whereas he placed his arms on her waist. They danced for awhile, until he felt that she began to grow uncomfortable. She let go of him, but he still held her. They looked into each other's eyes and he finally said to her, "I need to tell you something."

He led her out the house and into the backyard. There were small shrubs that hid them away from the peering eyes of the gossiping people inside the house. He took her hands and said, "Kikyo, I have something really important to tell you, but I want to give you this first."

He pulled out the diary from his pocket. He heard her gasp and say, "You found my diary. Where did you...?"

She paused when she noticed the broken lock. She grew upset and said with tears in her eyes, "You looked through my diary, didn't you!?"

"I'm sorry, I really am. I just couldn't control myself," he confessed.

She angrily demanded, "What did you read!?"

He remembered his smeared name and turned her anger back to her. He replied with a slight angered tone, "Only the last few entries but answer me this Kikyo. Why was my name smeared on those pages? Did I do something to upset you?"

Kikyo paused, blushing from the truth she tried to hide. Sesshomaru let his anger get the best of him when he placed his hands on her arms and shook her mildly when he demanded, "Answer me Kikyo! What did I do you!?"

She panted, replying, "Nothing...except for what you did just now...I never thought you would be the violent brute I just witnessed tonight."

He lessened his grip and saw the fear in her eyes. Has his love driven him to rage and brute strength?

Desperate, I will crawl/Waiting for so long/No love, there is no love/Die for anyone/What have I become

His face showed redemption and guilt for what he had done. He said to her in a soft tone, "I'm sorry Kikyo...for everything I did to you...I just want to tell you that..."

The true love within him was freed when he pressed his lips onto her lips. She did not move but responded back. He then said in a gentle tone, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She placed her hands on his cheeks, speaking in a soothing tone, "Then at least let me tell that the only reason why I smeared you name is because...I was in denial. I have been in love with you all along, but I never thought or felt that you would feel the same way for me. I thought if I scribbled your name out, I will suppress my love, but I couldn't."

Sesshomaru smirked to her, speaking in a whisper, "Now you know how I really feel about you."

Kikyo smiled and replied back, "And so do you."

They kissed once again, afterwards then going back inside to the party. Keeping their new relationship to themselves, they enjoyed the rest of the party. Later that night, Kikyo scribbled in her diary with the lock Sesshomaru tried to fix:

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was such a wonderful night. Sesshomaru and I are together and it was all because of this diary. I will no longer write in fear after finally knowing how he truly feels about me and how I feel about him. From here on, I will make sure to write his name at least once on the remainder of the pages. I can tell from the look in his eyes that our love is forever and hopefully it will be._

_Kikyo_

Something's getting in the way./Something's just about to break./I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane./As I burn another page,/As I look the other way./I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

-()-

Whoa! Long songfic, ain't it:D I love this song so much, I had to write something relevant to it! . Hopefully it was okay (especially the happy ending ;)). Thanks for reading!!


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